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همايون اسلامي


شايعه‌اي، در اينترنت منتشر شده بود، مبني بر اينكه، ژاپني‌ها، متن متداول پيغام خطاهاي مايكروسافت را، تبديل به يك قالب شعري ژاپني، به نام هايكو (Haiku) كرده‌اند.

اما، واقعيت چه بود؟ مجله اينترنتي Salon Magazine مسابقه‌اي، در زمينه پيغام خطاهاي داراي متن هايكو، برگزار كرد. پس از اعلام نتايج مسابقه، هايكوهاي برنده، به همراه تعدادي هايكوي اضافي، بدون ذكر منبع، در سايت‌هاي مختلف، درج شد، و اين شايعه منتشر شد.

چند نمونه از هايكوهاي ممتاز:

چاپگر، آماده نيست،
مي‌بايد، خطاي مهلكي باشد،
قلم، در دسترس هست؟

پت ديويس

خطاهايي، رخ داده‌اند،
به شما، نخواهيم گفت، چرا و كجا،
برنامه‌نويس‌هاي تن‌پرور.

چارلي گيبس

فراتر از حافظه.
در آرزوي دربرگرفتنِ تمامِ آسمان‌ايم،
اما، هرگز، نمي‌توانيم.

فرانسيس هيني


1 جولاي 2004
منابع:

هايكوهاي برنده
W I N N E R S:

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

-- David Dixon

Everything is gone;
Your life's work has been destroyed.
Squeeze trigger (yes/no)?

-- David Carlson

H O N O R A B L E M E N T I O N S:

I'm sorry, there's -- um --
insufficient -- what's-it-called?
The term eludes me ...

-- Owen Mathews

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

-- Peter Rothman

Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again

-- Chris Walsh

The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.

-- Barry L. Brumitt

Printer not ready.
Could be a fatal error.
Have a pen handy?

-- Pat Davis

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

-- David J. Liszewski

Errors have occurred.
We won't tell you where or why.
Lazy programmers.

-- Charlie Gibbs

Server's poor response
Not quick enough for browser.
Timed out, plum blossom.

-- Rik Jespersen

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

-- Suzie Wagner

Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.

-- Jason Axley

This site has been moved.
We'd tell you where, but then we'd
have to delete you.

-- Charles Matthews

wind catches lily
scatt'ring petals to the wind:
segmentation fault

-- Nick Sweeney

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.

-- Mike Hagler

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

-- Simon Firth

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

-- Howard Korder

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

-- Bill Torcaso

The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist

-- Joy Rothke

Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down

-- David Ansel

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

-- James Lopez

There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge

-- Rahul Sonnad

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that

-- Margaret Segall

To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy

-- Brian M. Porter

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

-- Cass Whittington

No keyboard present
Hit F1 to continue
Zen engineering?

-- Jim Griffith

Hal, open the file
Hal, open the damn file, Hal
open the, please Hal

-- Jennifer Jo Lane

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

-- Francis Heaney

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

-- Judy Birmingham

The ten thousand things
How long do any persist?
Netscape, too, has gone.

-- Jason Willoughby

Rather than a beep
Or a rude error message,
These words: "File not found."

-- Len Dvorkin

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

-- Ian Hughes

(http://archive.salon.com/21st/chal/1998/02/10chal2.html :منبع)

صفحات ديگر
صفحه اول
اتصالات مرتبط
Some entries for an error message haiku contest
The Definition of Haiku
.نقل مطالب، با ذكر نشاني سايت، بلامانع است
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